Friendship

Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.

- Quoted from the movie, "Bride Wars"
 

Marriage

Most of us consider marriage a huge step, possibly one of the biggest steps that, we will ever take, second perhaps only to having children. When one is about to get married everyone keeps talking about how life is going to change. They keep stressing how life as you know it is now over!

The thing is - Marriage is what you make of it. The ceremony is purely symbolic, and it doesn't really change anything. Marriage doesn’t make you more committed; people need to be completely committed to each other in their minds and hearts before they even think of getting married. Marriage is after all just a piece of paper that makes things official.

While marriage does change your life, it is because any serious relationship is life-changing. Marriage shouldn't be about losing freedom and losing yourself. If marriage means losing privileges or rights, and forgetting who you are as a person and what you stand for, then maybe the entire relationship needs to be questioned. Relationships are about respect and understanding not about rules and control.

Marriage is a union between two people who really want to be together, who love and support each other, and help each other reach their individual goals and dreams. I think far too many people feel like they're supposed to get married, so they get married.Getting married and having children are huge decisions, it always surprises me how little thought some people give these decisions.Marriage is something that's personal to each of us, since it is a very big step in our lives and in the end affects us the most. People shouldn't feel pressured into marriage or relationships by family, friends or society.

If people marry because they think that is what is expected of them and not because they truly love each other, then marriage becomes so much harder. Relationships are difficult even when you love each other more than anything. Perfect relationships don’t exist, neither do perfect people. Everyone has their flaws. That’s why it’s important to accept people for who they are and support them in becoming who they want to be. While it’s important to marry someone you can talk to, it’s probably more important to marry someone you can be silent with. A good relationship needs trust, patience, compromise, communication, forgiveness and most importantly love. 

 Love is what makes it all worthwhile. It is wonderful to have someone with whom you can share your hopes for the future, your dreams and the many disappointments life throws at you. When something good happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your happiness. When you are sad, you know they will cheer you up. When you are worried, you know they will listen and comfort you. Having someone special to share all the important milestones makes life so much better.

Without love, marriage is meaningless and making the relationship work would be virtually impossible. And yes, love is what makes all the annoying habits and idiosyncrasies of your spouse bearable. Love makes you take a deep breath, count to ten and try to look at things from their point of view. Relationships aren’t easy; they need a lot of work. Without love, working through differences, finding a compromise and moving forward would be extremely difficult.

 So is marriage worth it in the end? Sure it is a challenge to communicate, to understand one another; to learn to live with each other, to respect each other’s needs and wants, there are struggles to handle finances and divide the workload. Yet, somehow it is still one of the most meaningful and important adult relationships that most of us will ever have.

Trust

Trust is like a mirror, once broken you can never look at it the same.

New Love

The deep joy we take in the company of people with whom we have just recently fallen in love is  undisguisable.

- John Cheever 

Time

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

-Henry Van Dyke

Peace of mind

You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.

- George Michael

Indifference

Desire is half of life; indifference is half of death. -Kahlil Gibran

Cruelty

A beast does not know that he is a beast, and the nearer a man gets to being a beast, the less he knows it. -George MacDonald

Unhappiness

Man can only endure a certain degree of unhappiness; what is beyond that either annihilates him or passes by him and leaves him apathetic. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

True Love

You only need ONE man to love you.

 But to love you with a passion like wild fire, love you with an intensity you desire, love you with joyful abandon, love you in a crazy fashion, love you with sincerity and love you incessantly.

 Love you a little too much, a little too often and a little more each day!

All this and only ONE man.

A good love

A good love is one that sets you ablaze, that ignites your bones, that propels you forward, and turns all your dreams into reality.

Memories

The harder I try to forget the more clearly I remember.

Growing up

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.

- Graham Greene

Boredom

Boredom : the desire for desires.

-Leo Tolstoy

Goodbye

Is this how you want it to end? No more kisses, hugs or cuddles?

Is it time to say goodbye? Are you happy with the way things turned out?

Are you even the least bit sad? Are you hurting as much as I am?

I keep wondering how it all turned so bad. Is this what you really wanted?

Are you happy to let go? I guess I’ll never truly know.

Now I need to erase the memories and everything you meant to me.

I guess I have no reason to hold on, if there is no more you and me.

Rejection

"I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him."

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Love

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to the one I’ll always want, even when I’m too old to remember what I’m supposed to want you for!!! ;)

-Dedicated to my gorgeous husband

Omission

Lies of omission are every bit as bad as lies of commission.

-Gary Peck

Changes after marriage

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

 -Helen Rowland

Marriage

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up!

- Evelyn Hendrickson

I've learned.....

·         I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we say and do, no matter how we feel.

·         I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be lovable. The rest is up to them.

·         I’ve learned that some people forget when they are angry, that they have the right to be angry, but not the right to be cruel.

·         I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

·         I’ve learned that just because two people argue it doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. And just because two people don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

·         I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just can’t be bothered.

·         I’ve learned it’s not what happens to people that’s important, it’s how they deal with it.

·         I’ve learned that no matter how you look at it, there are always two sides.

·         I’ve learned that if I’m quiet when others are screaming, then eventually they will stop.

·         I’ve learned that forgiving someone isn’t easy, especially when they’ve hurt you deeply, but sometimes it’s the only way you can move on.

·         I’ve learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

·         I’ve learned that writing eases my pain and sadness.

·         I’ve learned that it’s harder to burn calories than refrain from consuming them.

·         I’ve learned that when people yell at me I stop listening.

·         I’ve learned that nobody has it all figured out.

·         I’ve learned that those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

·         I’ve learned revenge is for the petty.

·         I’ve learned that some people have the urge to punish others and it has more to do with venting frustration than correcting behaviour.

·         I’ve learned that sometimes all a person needs is someone to hold their hand and listen intently.

·         I’ve learned that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

 

Love, Joy & Pain

Love is a feeling that brings both joy and pain. Joy from being with someone special whom you deeply care about and pain from knowing that they now have the power to hurt you more than ever.

-Poppy
 

Acceptance & Understanding

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you. -Christian Morganstern

Home

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

-Maya Angelou

Hope

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

-Martin Luther King Jr.
 

Courage

True strength is keeping everything together when everyone expects you to fall apart.

Sadness

One must not let oneself be overwhelmed by sadness.

-Jackie Kennedy

 

 

Anger

Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt. -Tom Gates

Despair

Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss.

-Alexandre Dumas

Love

Love has made me stronger,
Made me want to live a little longer,
Love has made me wiser,
Made me want to be a little nicer,

Love has made me smile,
Made living worthwhile,
Love has made me kind,
Made me more refined,

Love has made me patient,
Made me more complaisant,
Love has taught me respect,
Made me want to reflect,

But times can get tough,
And things can get quite rough,
Love seems like a game,
And there is no one to blame,
But when you take my hand,
There is nothing I can’t withstand,

The road isn’t easy,
The path isn’t always straight,
Love sometimes makes me queasy,
And it isn’t all one big date,

But with you beside me each day,
I know that we can find a way,
For the best is yet to come,
I’d rather not be glum,

As I look ahead,
I think of all that’s been done and said,
You’ve given me a world of dreams,
And when I speak about unconditional love,
At least I finally know what it means…..

-Poppy

You

When I first met you,
I felt my heart melt through,
When you looked at me,
I knew I would never be free,

You captured my soul,
I was under your spell,
For the first time in my life,
I was dizzy as hell,

When you touched me,
It felt so right,
When you kissed me,
I was filled with delight,

You swept me off my feet,
I finally felt complete,
I had waited a lifetime for this,
One gorgeous moment of bliss,

A feeling I could not explain,
A passion I could not contain,
No longer was I alone,
Finally I was home!

-Poppy

.

The Vow

I vow to always hold you in tenderness and to love you now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And no matter what challenges may carry us a part, I believe we will always find a way back to each other...

-Paraphrased from the movie, 'The Vow'.

You are the reason why....

Even when i'm sad, I smile...

Even when I'm confused, I try to understand...

Even when I'm worried, I hope...

Even though I've been betrayed in the past, I trust...

Even when I fear pain, I love...

Nothing is quite what it seems.....

What if everything around you isn't quite what it seems?
What if all the world you think you know is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection, is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your head?
Just creations of your own...
Your devils and your gods and the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find words
Are you hiding in the trees?

What if everything around you isn't quite what it seems?


-Quoted from "Right Where it Belongs" by Nine Inch Nails

Favorite Songs - July 2012

1. Fall – ED Sheeran
2. Other side of the world – KT Tunstall
3. Somebody that I used to know – Goyte
4. Set fire to the rain –Adele
5. Someone like you – Adele
6. Changed the way you kiss me – Example
7. Wherever you will go – Charlene Soraia
8. Love the way you lie – Eminem & Rihanna
9. Give me everything – Pitbull
10. Hangover – Taio Cruz
11. Gold forever – The Wanted
12. Sexy and I know it – LMFAO
13. Little bad girl - David Guetta
14. We found love – Rihanna
15. Down for whatever – Kelly Rowland
16. I’m into you – Jennifer Lopez
17. Mr Saxobeat – Alexandra Stan
18. Glad you came – The Wanted
19. Grenade – Bruno Mars
20. Timebomb – Kylie Minogue

Expectations

I just realised that the lower my expectations, the happier I am. Atleast this way I can be pleasantly surprised instead of being sorely disappointed.

Happiness

Happiness will never come to those who cannot appreciate what they already have.

Life

Sometimes life isn't about what you want to do, but rather what you ought to do.

Missing you

"I miss you a little,

I guess you could say,

a little too much,

a little too often,

and a little more each day!"

-In Memory of my father on his 8th Death Anniversary

Destiny

Destiny is something that we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.

- Sleepless in Seattle

Opportunity

Your life is defined by opportunities, even the ones you miss!

-The curious case of Benjamin Button

Loss

We are meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?

- The curious case of Benjamin Button

Pain

The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body.

-Publilius Syrus

Happiness & Unhappiness

All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.

-Baruch Spinoza

Change

Think about how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

Perspective

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Interpretation

All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Tolerance

When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.

-Peace Pilgrim

Love

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me.

Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person.

Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of.

Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone.

Love is caring about someone so much that you worry about them when they aren't around.

Love is putting someone else's needs before your own.

Love is feeling weak at the knees and having your heart beat faster when you see the one you love.

Love is so much more than can be expressed in words....

Falling in Love

Falling in love with someone isn't always easy...
Laughter...tears...joy...anger... disappointment...happiness...It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love the other person!

Good Parenting

Parents must get across the idea that "I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behaviour."
-Amy Vanderbilt

Miss you

You may be out of my sight...but you are never out of my mind...

I Miss You Dad!

-In memory of my father on his 7th death anniversary.

Favorite songs over the past year

1. Somebody loved – The Weepies
2. Someone else’s life – Joshua Radin
3. On the floor – Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull
4. 3 Wishes – Dave Thomas Junior
5. The Riddle – Five for Fighting
6. Need to be next to You – Leigh Nash
7. Thinking of me – Olly Murs
8. Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis
9. Firework – Katy Perry
10. Money is not a thing – Chase Holfelder
11. Learning to Fly – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
12. Just the way you are – Bruno Mars
13. The sound of missing you – Wildboys Ft Ameerah
14. When you know – Serendipity
15. I’d Rather be with you – Joshua Radin
16. Is it any wonder? – Keane
17. They bring me to you – Joshua Radin
18. If I had you – Adam Lambert
19. Half of my heart – John Mayer ft Taylor Swift
20. Slide – Goo Goo Dolls

Smiling

Smiling always makes you feel better about yourself, even if you don't feel like it. And it always makes other people think better of you!

-Author unknown

Strength

Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.

-Greta Garbo

Solitariness

With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves.

-Eric Hoffer

Loneliness and Communication

Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.

-Germaine Greer

The Wait

I’ll wait for you to come and find me,
I’ll wait because I know you want me,
I’ve been standing at a distance,
It’s not that I don’t care,
Just that in this instance,
I want to fight fair,
I know that I may be misunderstood,
It’s not that I can’t explain,
I’d just rather wait to be understood,

So I’ll wait, till you come and find me,
I’ll wait, because I know you need time,
I’m using all of my patience,
I won’t even try to fake it,
I know what it’s doing to you,
So I’ll also take it,
I’ll wait till you come and find me,
I’ll wait because I know you want me,

I’m tempted to pick up the phone,
I’m not sure just what to say,
I know that you need time alone,
I’m sure someday you’ll say,
What I’ve always known,
So I’ll wait, for you to come and find me,
I’ll wait because I know you want me,

I know you feel me,
And you so can heal me,
It’s been far too long,
I want to be a part of a world where I belong,
So I’ll wait, till you come and find me,
I’ll wait because I know you want me,

I’m now close enough to taste it,
I can almost embrace it,
I can feel you falling,
I’ll wait until you’re ready,
It’ll take a while until you’re steady,
So I’ll wait till you come and find me,
I’ll wait because I know you want me.

-Poppy

Trust

Even in the common affairs of life, in love, friendship, and marriage, how little security have we when we trust our happiness in the hands of others!

- William Hazlitt

Appreciation

You must speak to be heard,
but sometimes you have to be silent to be appreciated.

-Author Unknown

Doubt

When we are in love we often doubt that which we most believe.

-François de la Rochefoucauld

Lies

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.

-Austin O'Malley

Guilt

The guilty think all talk is of themselves.

-Geoffrey Chaucer

Honesty

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

-Henry Louis Mencken, A Little Book in C Major, 1916

Jealousy

He that is not jealous is not in love.

-St. Augustine

Relationships

The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

- Hugh Walpole, Sr.

Honesty

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

-Author Unknown

Marriage

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.

-Mignon McLaughlin

Sex Appeal

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

-Sophia Loren q

Choices

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise!

-Robert Fritz

Memories

A part of you has grown in me, and so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart! Miss you Dad!

-Dedicated in memory of my father on his 6th death anniversary.

Marriage

If you are a young man or woman of marriageable age in India who still hasn’t settled down, then when you step out of your house at any point in time, night or day, you can be accosted and asked the following question.

'WHY aren't YOU getting married??!!!!' (This will be said in a voice which is part concern part nagging with stress given to all the words in Capitals.)

Now this question can be asked by ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, from the neighborhood aunty, to the security guard in your office to some person you are meeting for the first time in your life! (Remember, we live in India, where it is not too personal to ask people you barely know any random thing, as long as you make it sound like it is of grave national importance!)

I’ve also found nowadays, that my bored expression seems to get through to most folks and hence they provide multiple choice answers to make the questioning process simpler!

So here go the answers:

a) Do you already have a girl friend/boyfriend? Just that you haven’t been able to convince his/her parents or yours about the idea of marriage? (In the beginning the person asking the question is always hopeful!)

b) Don’t tell me you are waiting for the right person to come along! Do you think u will find the perfect person??!!!! (The person asking the question will then stress, “A perfect person doesn't EXIST, you just have to compromise!” All the while looking in the direction of their spouse, as if to explain how they got stuck with such a loser in the first place!! It could be for support too, but I prefer my theory!) :-)

c) Do you NOT believe in marriage and never intend to marry??! (If u choose option "c", which I sometimes do for fun, I've found it back fires because then am forced to listen to long lectures about loneliness and the importance of marriage for the human race!!!)

d) Are you gay or lesbian? Hence you are unmarried because you are waiting for it to be completely legal in India to marry! (This option is never there when old folks ask the question but it would be funny to introduce the idea and watch the fun!)

I keep choosing different options every time to keep myself entertained! After all, everyone is entitled to some fun! And it’s always good to keep people guessing… ;-)

Top 5 Favorite Songs for the Month of Feb

•Whataya want from me - Adam Lambert
•A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
•Light surrounding you – Evermore
•Just say yes – Snow Patrol
•Give it away – Deepest Blue

Love and Hope

Whatever happens, has happened, or will happen, I still believe in Love,
whatever orthodox, unorthodox, ordinary, or extraordinary form it takes.
Never give up hope.

-Danielle Steel

Change

Keep the pictures; they don't change, only the people in them do.

Needs

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, chances are, you won't be needing them again!

-Paraphrased from something I read somewhere...

Happy New Year !

Wish you a Very Happy New Year !

This is my wish for you :
"Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth. Love to complete your life!"

Experience

Experience is the name that everyone gives their mistakes!
-Oscar Wilde

Good bye

You know you are in love when the hardest thing to say is Goodbye.
-Unknown

Passion

Never underestimate the power of passion.
-Eve Sawyer

Acceptance

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are!
-Unknown

Favorite Songs for the Month of December 2009

• My Everything - ATB
• Life After You - Chris Daughtry
• If you only knew - Shine down
• I know you want me -Pitbull
• Fireflies - Owl City

Ingratitude

I wondered why I was dead ?

I stood alone inside my head,

I remembered how he leaned on me,

He seemed so lost, he couldn't see,

I helped him get back on his feet,

I made him one and put him back on his seat,

When I needed a friend I looked to him,

He'd found new friends, he didn't care,

He looked through me, like I wasn't there,

I wondered how ungrateful he could be,

I guess life is full of men like him,

Now I don't wonder why I'm dead,

Atleast it makes sense in my head!

-Poppy

Forgiveness

I forgive small mistakes,

I forgive big mistakes,

I forgive all mistakes,

But after a point,
I forgive nothing,
For forgiveness is overrated,
And those who forgive are taken for granted!

-Poppy

Betrayal

One of the most unbearable feelings in the world is to feel betrayed. But what is more painful is not to have the right to feel betrayed but to feel it acutely nonetheless.

-Paraphrased from the book " Marrying Anita" by Anita Jain.

Respect

A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone.

-Billy Graham

Conceit

We often boast that we can never be bored, but yet we are so conceited that we do not perceive how often we bore others.

-Fracois de la Rochefoucauld

Suffering

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

-Paulo Coelho

Old Friendships

It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.

-William Somerset Maugham

Love

Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust.

-Unknown

Top 5 Favorite Songs for the Month of August

• Let Me Go -Three Doors Down
• Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry
• Release Me -Agnes Carlsson
• Second Chance -Shine Down
• You Found Me - The Fray

Life

The unconscious is the key to all of life's pursuits.

-Carl Jung

Food

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating !
- Luciano Pavarotti

Divine Intervention

Sometimes we are forced into directions which we should have chosen ourselves, because sometimes we need that push to make tough decisions in Life.

-Poppy

Complicated Love

I met this really awesome guy, so great that he’s everything I could have wished for and more. But you know, life, it’s complicated. You would think that when someone so amazing comes into your life then things would just fall into place, well, no such luck, that happens only in the movies. So instead of the universe conspiring to help, it does exactly the opposite, it makes every single thing harder!

I think we spend our whole lives planning; there is always a grand plan. But how many of those plans actually work out? I mean really, how many? For, as far as, I can remember none of my plans have worked out till date. If there is an award for that, I’m getting it for sure. So instead of spending our time planning, we should spend our time planning to be surprised, so that when things don’t go our way, we are able to handle it better.

And love; well it’s an irrational feeling, when you feel happy and sad at the same time. It is one of the best and worst things that can happen to you. Definitely not recommended by me, but then who am I?

So then why do people bother falling in love, well I think love is like a light house, it keeps us on course when we cannot see anything else. And love can never be planned, it just happens, even when you don’t want it to. So even if you try your best to be aloof and assume that love will pass you by, when you least expect it, it will happen and then there is no escaping it.

I been trying to ignore it for a while thinking that the feeling would go away, because like I said, it’s complicated. But somehow the feeling keeps getting stronger and stronger. And then I see him and suddenly for the first time in weeks, I don’t feel like crying and I ask myself, what are we doing?? Life’s too short! What are we doing??!

-Poppy

Life

When your young your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious because you could break a bone or a heart. You start to look before you leap and some times you don't leap at all because there isn't anyone to catch you. In life there is no safety net, but when did life stop being fun and start being scary ?!

-Paraphrased from "Sex in the City"

Passion

There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love.
-Susie Switzer

Choices

When we make choices, we also choose the consequences !

Love

I just realised that being with someone you love is like eating an icecream. You just know that you don't want to be anywhere else doing anything else right then!