Lessons I've learned over the past year

• I've learned that people who have huge egos lose great friends
• I've learned that having expectations just leads to disapppointments
• I've learned that dancing with the devil to make him a saint is a stupid idea
• I've learned that some people are selfish and accepting it is better than trying to change it
• I've learned that help and solace in time of difficulties comes from unexpected sources
• I've learned that crying makes one feel better
• I've learned that good friends know exactly how to cheer you up
• I've learned that getting your heart broken hurts physically as much as it does emotionally
• I've learned that some people are just too stubborn and stupid to change
• I've learnt that class doesn't come from money but from good upbringing and values
• I've learned that no matter how much you do for some people they still treat you like dirt
• I've learned that being a nice person does not ensure that others will be nice to you
• I've learned that a kind word or deed can go a long way in making someone feel good
• I've learned that people who genuinely care are not ashamed to show it
• I've learned not to take what people say at face value
• I've learned that the harder you try to make something work, the greater are the chances of it not working out
• I've learned that people who keep changing their minds are not genuine
• I've learned that you learn something new everyday if you pay enough attention
• I've learned that it is important to learn to let go and move on
• I've learned that some people have no conscience
• I've learned that a hug can make me feel better when nothing else does
• I've learned that people who make you cry and don't feel remorse are not worth bothering about
• I've learned that talking about things always makes me feel better
• I've learned that always apologising for others mistakes and making up is not worth it after a point
• I've learned that some people just cannot admit that they are wrong
• I've learned that consistency in relationships is important to me
• I've learned that I have very strong intuition about people close to me
• I've learned that you never find yourself until you learn to face the truth
• I've learned that if you are unable to find tranquility within yourself it is useless to seek it elsewhere
• I've learned not to trust implicitly
• I've learned that you can sit in a room full of people and still feel lonely
• I've learned that the people that hurt you the most are usually the ones you least expect
• I've learned that some people are insensitive
• I've learned that some people can empathise way better than others
• I've learned that some times comfort can be given without speaking a word
• I've learned that going for a long drive with nice music helps me think and unwind
• I've learned that I cannot live without music
• I've learned that, one should never impose on others what one would not choose for ones self
• I've learned that everything has a moral, the problem is finding it
• I've learned that there are no failures, just experiences and your reactions to them
• I've learned that we are not limited by our abilities, but by our vision
• I've learned that words and ideas can change the world
• I've learned that some times I just need to be on my own
• I've learned that some people can lie without batting an eyelid
• I've learned that I am responsible for my own happiness
• I've learned that if you let people they will take you for granted
• I've learned that people who can't laugh at themselves are hard to live with
• I've learned that learning when to speak and when to keep quiet is extremely important
• I've learned that people who don't communicate are difficult to deal with
• I've learned that words have the power to hurt more than deeds
• I've learned that it hurts to feel

Top Ten Favorite Songs for December

My favorite songs of the month are :-

• Renegade - ATB
• Let Go -Paul Van Dyke
• Fields of Love -ATB
• It's not over -Chris Daughtry
• Beautiful Liar - Beyonce Knowles
• Breathe Me -Sia
• Umbrella - Rihanna
• I wanna Love you -Akon
• Don't think of me -Dido
• Something Just are the way they are - ATB

There is nothing half so pleasant as coming home again....

Finally back home after five months ! Such a relief to be back to the old and the familiar, it's strange how some things give comfort just by being the same. Come to think of it , I think that's what most of us look for in life, stability or consistency in relationships or in anything for the matter. That's what keeps one sane when other things go crazily out of orbit !

I've spent the past five months in Singapore and it's been an enlightening and enjoyable experience. During the time away from home, I've grown a lot and learnt a hellavu lot about myself and about people in general. Strange how staying with people makes you bond so much faster with them. I never thought i'd miss my friends in my holiday break, I guess it's weird when I think about how I didn't even know these people five months back and now I miss them when I don't see them everyday ! I guess home is not a place where you live, but a place where they understand you...

Letting Go n Moving On

"Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are just too bright... and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice... but still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. "

-Excerpt from Shawshank Redemption

Resilience

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed.
-Viktor E. Frankl

Growing up

Learning to own your burdens is half the battle in life , and once you do that, you learn to take responsibility for your actions.

Loss of a loved one

The moment you lose someone you love, is the moment you lose a part of yourself...

Compassion

You cannot care about everything and stay sane. You cannot care about nothing and stay human.
- Katherine Whitehorn

Right n Wrong

No one is always completely right, there is something wrong with all of us...

Challenge

The greatest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone wants you to be somebody else.
-E.E Cummings

Distance

Even though we drifted apart in distance, I still think of you as a part of my life. And although we both have many new friends I still cherish our friendship and always will.

And then , it rained !!!

Beautiful isn't it ? I love the rain ! :-D

Home

Home is where the heart is...

Bitterness

Only someone who has been really close to you, can hurt you with a precision that few others can achieve...and in the end all that's left is bitterness...

Passion

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for , he isn't fit to live.

-Martin Luther King

The Future

I guess you never know where a road will end... Sometimes you just know that it will...

Top Ten Favorite Songs for the Month of May

I have this strange habit of finding songs that I like, old or new and then listening to them again and again, till I get sick of em. So I’ve decided to regularly post a list of my favorite songs. You may wonder why I feel the need to subject you to my music preferences, and well I have only one answer for you my friend, It’s my blog ! If you have any objections you are free to leave a comment or better still get your own blog! :-)

So here goes this months list :-

1. Begin –Ben Lee
2. Chasing Cars –Snow Patrol
3. Here without you –Three Doors Down
4. Beautiful Wreck –Shawn Mullins
5. Some Hearts –Carrie Underwood
6. Everything Changes –Staind
7. The Real Thing –Bo Bice
8. I’ll Stand by you –The Pretenders
9. Faraway – Nickelback
10. The Fear you won’t fall – Joshua Radin

The Old n the Familiar

In this place I hear the quiet rasp of things as they used to be. I come at dawn, I come at nightfall, and all the hours in between. I come to hear the twilight robes and songs from yesterday. I come because old things live here, things I understand without knowing why...

-Paraphrased from "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend" - By Robert James Waller

Daddy’s Girl -Always!

Three years have passed since I lost my father but for me time seems to stand still. My father still forms an important part of my life. There isn’t a day which goes by where I don’t think about him, miss him or talk about him. I often wonder what his views on certain current events would be, whether he would enjoy food at the new restaurant that opened down the road, or whether he would like the latest acquisition to my wardrobe.
I guess that’s what happens when someone has a larger than life presence. In a strange way it permeates even when the person no longer exists. I still hear his voice telling me not to do silly things, to have patience when I’m sick of waiting for things to happen, and telling me to be strong when I feel like I can’t deal with things. Is it really possible for someone to talk to you from beyond the grave or is it a game your mind plays with you to help you deal with the sudden shock of losing someone so near and dear to you?

I don’t know the answer to that question, but I’m glad that I can still hear his voice in my head. It makes me feel safe, happy and content knowing that, it’s a part of him I’ll always have.

Looking back, I know that in the past three years I’ve grown up more than I did in the 22 years before that. I guess losing someone close to you makes you grow up faster than you ever intended. And all the values that they tried to instill in you seem to suddenly become the values that you strive for even when their physical presence is not around to guide you. As a person, I’ve learnt to be more responsible, goal oriented and focused. I've learnt to prioritise and make time for work and fun. I’ve learnt to face my fears and deal with it head on. I’ve become stronger emotionally than I ever thought possible. Suddenly life seems too short to hold grudges or to fight over trifles. Family has gained more importance than it ever had before. Making time for hobbies and learning new skills has become a part of my routine. In short, living life to the fullest. But the greatest lesson that I have learnt from my dad is, that forging relationships with people is more important than just getting the job done.
And though there are lot of things in life I’m not sure of, one thing I know for sure is , I’ll always be daddy’s girl !

Loss

Loss? What does it mean? Loss of property or life?

Loss of property can be replaced given time, but loss of life – never. When someone loses someone near and dear, people often say, give it time… things will get better. I always wonder what their talking about?!! Better with time? For whom ? Maybe for the person saying it because, with time he/she will forget about it and move on with his/her life. What a foolish thing to say and how very naïve of them to assume that everything gets better with time, like time is a panacea for all ills.

I know that with time the pain intensifies, as time flies one realizes the gravity of death. A person who is dead will never ever return. You can never expect them to walk into a room while you’re sitting there, never have a conversation with them, never touch them and never hold them close. And the pain you feel at the unfairness of it all, doesn’t get better with time, it gets worse, like a festering wound, becoming larger and more painful. Losing someone close to you can change your life in ways you never even imagined. It can make you stronger or weaker, the choice is yours. Strong individuals find ways to circumvent the pain and look for ways to channelise it; the weak succumb to the pain and undergo depression, sometimes even trying to commit suicide.

What irritates me is individuals who feel the need to give advice on the loss of a loved one when they have absolutely no idea what their talking about. Sometimes it’s a good idea to shut-up if one doesn’t have anything intelligent to say, might save the rest of us the torture of listening to crap.

Change

Sometimes we foolishly believe that if we take the easier path we'd still be in safe waters.. like a ship in the harbour...but then ships were not made to stay in the harbour...and hanging around in the harbour would just make us into bored, unhappy and dis-satisfied individuals... sometimes it's important to take risks...otherwise life loses its meaning...

The Quarter Life Crisis

This is the time in your life when you realize that however much you hate it, change is the only constant in life and that things rarely go according to plan. You start realizing that there are many things you thought you would have achieved by this time, but now they seem a distant dream or not even a possibility.

You start feeling insecure and confused about your goals and wonder what you will have achieved in a year or five years time, since you haven’t managed to achieve what you had set out for yourself, and now you’re frightened to set more goals and not achieve them once again.

You start realizing that life is short and that people are important, and somehow you always treated the ones who were difficult better than the ones who always stood by you. You realize that people can be selfish and that the only person who really cares about you and looks out for your interests is yourself and expecting anyone else to do it is just setting yourself up for more disappointment.

You’ve reached a phase in your life where you’ve been through a number of relationships and you now know what you want and don’t want in a relationship, where you are willing to compromise and what you are not willing to budge on.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved with every ounce of your being could hurt you so much. You wonder why you go from one destructive relationship to another, constantly searching for that elusive something. Or you lie in bed at night and wonder where all the decent people are hiding because you can’t seem to find anyone that you want to get to know better. Or on the off chance that you do meet someone interesting, they are already taken.

You are now much more confident as a person. You have learnt to take things with a pinch of salt. You laugh and cry with more feeling than you ever did before. Each experience in your life is etched deeply in your mind and impacts the way you think and how you interact with people. You are more careful and less trusting of others. You try hard not to become cold, jaded and cynical.

You begin to judge people more than you did earlier in your life. You are constantly observing other people and renewing the boundaries in your life, adding things to the list of what is acceptable and what is definitely not.

You have a smaller close knit group of friends who form your support system. You talk to your friends about the same things again and again- work, family, higher education, men/women in your life and analyse the same problems again and again searching for solutions, hoping that you will have the courage to make tough decisions and follow through with them.

You stop going along with the crowd and realize that you don’t need to try so hard to fit in. Getting completely wasted and acting like an immature idiot loses its charm. You undergo some self realization and some of the things you’ve discovered about yourself are not entirely pleasant.

You worry more about your family and the health of your loved ones. You take on more responsibility and try to help out with daily chores and financial obligations.

You worry about loans, money, marriage and making a life for yourself. And while achieving all your goals would be nice, you would settle for at least a definite path to your goals with a blue print of all the potholes or at least a way to get around them.

You feel alone, scared, anxious, excited, worried, and happy all at the same time. One minute you wouldn’t want to change anything for the world and the next minute you wonder how you got stuck in this rut.

You know you’ve never felt so alive or so frightened in your entire life. You feel like you are standing at the edge of a cliff and the only way to move forward is to jump and pray the parachute holds.

What you don’t realize is that everyone in this age group is going through something similar and would be able to relate to the gamut of emotions that you are facing. So relax and try to enjoy yourself. Think of it like a roller coaster ride, where you’re poised on top, waiting for it to begin, you know its going to be fun , though scary in some parts and exhilarating in others. So what you need to do is embrace it instead of trying to fight it!

And when you feel lost and lonely next time, remember we are all searching for our place in the world and as we stumble along in search of happiness, there is always company and it’s not going to be a long lonely ride.

I wish you all the very Best of luck ! :-)

Different People, Different Views

Strange isn't it how you think you know someone and then something happens, either an event, a disagreement or even a serious conversation about important issues and you suddenly wonder who the other person is... what their real beliefs and values are... what their guiding principles are and how different or similar to yours they are...

The way a person thinks, deals with problems or treats other people depends on how they have been brought up. Family and friends play an important role in nurturing an individual. Many a time our views about certain topics are solely based upon the experiences of our family and friends. And while many of us have similar thoughts about certain issues our views might greatly diverge on other topics...so to assume that just because a person agrees or thinks in a similar fashion about some things that they would agree with you on all other things would be a gross injustice to them and to you...

So when it comes to settling down with someone it's important to figure out those issues which are important to both of you and ensure that your value system is the same atleast on those... otherwise it just leads to un-necessary complications and marriage is tough without having that to deal with too..

Truth

The truth is almost always more complicated than it seems... Everything is not black n white.. Some things have shades of grey...But the truth always surfaces sooner or later...

Love's Philosophy

The Fountains mingle with the River and the Rivers with the Ocean,
the winds of Heaven mix for ever with a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine in one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
see the mountains kiss high Heaven and the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven if it disdained its brother,
and the sunlight clasps the earth and the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth if thou kiss not me?

-Percy B Shelley

Dancing

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
-Angela Monet

The Purpose of Life

We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

True Love

For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love grows stronger with time... and for still others love is simply lost... But then of course love can also be found...

I believe True Love doesn't stop when time passes, or you live in different places, or sombody's gone....true love transcends space and time...

Pain

No one can hurt you, unless you let them.

Death

As flies to wanton boys are, we to the Gods. They kill us for their sport.
-William Shakespeare

Motto in Life

You must live for another if you to wish to live for yourself.
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Pure Love

Have you ever thought of a love so pure that you want to do what's best for the one you love ? How many of us ever achieve that heightened level of awareness ? Most parents feel strongly about their children... strongly enough to give up their lives without a second thought if it came to a choice...and most children would do the same for their parents.. but how many couples would do it ? Seriously, how many couples even understand each other enough, to know that sometimes it's better to go different ways than to hang on to each other and make each other miserable in the long run.. by standing in the way of each others dreams and aspirations...sometimes the simplest actions such as walking away are hardest to follow through with.....

In the Pursuit of Happiness

We spend our entire lives in the pursuit of the happiness... and what is happiness really.. it's a fleeting moment in life when everything is right...when the world seems a beautiful place and we feel at one with everything and everyone...as if we couldn't wish or hope for anything more... but I say it's a fleeting moment, because given time we want more...it's just human nature...

I think happiness is almost like an illusion or maybe even a state in which we are delusional and believe that life is perfect...and in time...reality bites.. nice and hard... and it's back to the search for the unattainable...

Everyone has hopes, everyone has dreams, everyone has pain, everyone has ambitions, everyone wants something, needs something , desires something, cherishes something, loves someone, dislikes someone, hurts someone, wants to protect someone and while all our lives are so different in the end it's all the same...

Would you lie with me and just forget the world ???!

We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind meTo find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world ??!!

-Snow Patrol ( Chasing Cars)

Hope

Sometimes hope is all we've got.. and waiting is the hardest part.. not knowing.. just hoping that things will go as we want them to...bcoz we can't even imagine the alternative at the moment...it's just too upsetting and scary...

For a change I hope things will go in my favour...

Reflections

This is a pic I took on a nice deserted beach in kerala while watching the sunset...

I really like this pic... something so powerful and peaceful at the same time...

Should be able to take lots more pics as soon as our beach house is ready and I get the chance to go n stay there...

Hopefully by then I'll know more about photography than I know now... :-)

Food Orgy in Kerala

George Bernard Shaw once said ,"There is no sincerer love, than the love of food"...n how true that is...

I spent the last week in Kerala..n had the most amazing time.. my entire family believes in eating constantly, and most of my family can put a good chef to shame... so as expected i've gained quite a bit of weight.. so now the weight loss plan begins.. but here are a few pics of my grandmothers delicasies.. maybe that will explain why i couldn't resist.. :-)))

Letting Go

Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong -Sometimes it's letting go...

Memories

Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that can last a lifetime...

I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words will never replace feelings.....

Passion

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
-Hebbel

Quote for Valentines Day

The more you judge, the less you love.

Ideas for Valentines Day -Part 3

Home-made Cherry layered Strawberry Cake...bcoz to love is find pleasure in the happiness of the person loved... And what better way to do that than to feed em something sinful..

Ideas for Valentines Day -Part 2

Home-made pizzas... bcoz the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... :-)

Quarrels

If we open a quarrel between the past and the present , we shall find that we have lost the future.

Ideas for Valentines Day -Part 1

Home-made Chocolate brownies and a bottle of wine. And maybe a little card, which says "I love you like a fat kid loves cake".

Nothing says those three words better than food and drink.... unless ofcourse you are planning to give diamonds... :-)

Communication

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

-Washington Irving

Silence

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings , but silence breaks your heart.

Friendship

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Diplomacy

In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.
-Thomas Pickering

Dogs

• Dogs are not our whole life,but they make our lives whole.
• If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
• A dog, I will maintain, is a very tolerable judge of beauty, as appears from the fact that any liberally educated dog does,in a general way, prefer a woman to a man.
• If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
• Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car,in case the need should arise for them to bark suddenly at nothing right in your ear.
• If your dog doesn't like someone,you probably shouldn't either.
• Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.

Disguise

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Imagination

Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.
-Jamie Paolinetti

The Real Thing

When looking for someone to settle down with , one keeps asking oneself , "Is this the right person ?" Today while surfing the internet I came upon something which I think perfectly said it all...

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

Wait for a boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.. The one who turns to his friends and says,' that's her'. "

Women

The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman.

-Mexican Proverb

Family

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth , it hardly seems to matter how many years have passed, how many betrayals there may have been, how much misery in the family : We remain connected, even against our wills.

-Anthony Brandt

Humour

Through Humour, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

-Bill Cosby

Absence

There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It's caused by the absence of you.

-Dedicated in memory of my late Father.

Freedom

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Epitaph

I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.

Advice for the New Year

Be who you are, and say what you feel, cause' those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Suess