Lost

The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost !

-G.K Chesterton

Top Ten Favorite Songs for the Month of March

• Friday –Daniel Bedingfield
• This is how you remind me –Nickelback
• This Kiss – Faith Hill
• Someday – Nickelback
• When you’re looking like that – Westlife
• Dreams –The Corrs
• King of My Castle –Wamdue Project
• Summer Rain -Belinda Carlisle
• Life Goes On - Le Ann Rimes
• Hands Clean -Alanis Morissette

Loneliness

It is extreme evil to depart from the company of the living before you die.

-Seneca

Good Bye

I was pre-occupied, half asleep,
It too me a while to discover, I was in too deep,
I never planned it, for me it was a fall,
It's a painful way down, to nothing at all,

I’ve lost count of the times that I’ve given up on you,
And all the promises you made to get me back to you,
So I put my keys in the car, but it wouldn’t drive,
I sat with my hands on the wheel, looking barely alive,
I know I’m not an angel, but don't think that I won't try,
I know I'm not an angel, but that doesn’t mean that I won't fly,

For Freedom comes when you learn to let go,
Happiness comes to those who learn to say no,
You were my lesson, I had to learn,
I touched fire, I had to burn,

For every mistake, I’ll have to pay,
I’ve come to work, I’ve come to play,
Now I need to find another way,
I’ve had the courage to break away,
I’ve learnt how to say goodbye,
Now I yearn to say goodbye!

-Inspiration from assorted song lyrics

Realisation

Here I go again,
I see the crystal visions,
I keep my visions to myself,
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness,
Like a heartbeat...drives you mad,
In the stillness of remembering what you had,
And what you lost,
Thunder only happens when it's raining,
Players only love you when they're playing,
Say women they will come and they will go,
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know !

-Lyrics from "Dreams"- The Corrs

Wicked Games

A fleeting glance,
A brave stance,
A wicked thought,
A half smile caught,
A last chance,
For one last dance,
A Promise to withstand,
All of hell to hold my hand,
Well, too long, too late,
Another lifetime you’ll have to wait!

Memories

I watch the sky turn black to blush,
Head still spinning from the rush,
Of all the things I’ve done,
And I take it with me when I leave,
The crowded skyline,
The sleepless city always leaves its mark,
Just close my eyes and I'm back again,
These dawn-lit streets begin to fill ,
With memories of you and I
On a New York City night!

-Paraphrased from "New York City" by Paul Van Dyk

Sadness

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Achieving the Impossible

In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.

-Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

Madness

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it !

-Robin Williams

Witches ! :-p

A dangerous woman is one who has no women friends. It is easy to fool men, it is much tougher to fool women!

Identity Crisis

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn,
I'm the only one who's noticed,
I can't be the only one who's learned,
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do,
Or who I'm supposed to be,
I don't want to be anything other than me !

-paraphrased from "One Tree Hill" Theme Song

Passing Phase

I'm not afraid of anything in this world,
There's nothing you can throw at me,
That I haven't already heard,
And if the night runs over,
And if the day won't last,
And if your way should falter,
Along this stony pass,
It's just a moment,
This time will pass !

-Paraphrased from lyrics of "Stuck in a moment"

Music & Dance

To me music provides a path or a means to connect with others and to better understand myself. Music helps me unwind and find a sense of peace when I'm troubled, it cheers me up when I'm sad,comforts me when I feel lost and last but not least celebrates with me when I'm happy. To me music expresses that which cannot be put into words but at the same time cannot be held inside.

I listen to a wide variety of music from country music to trance. I enjoy listening to music which has good lyrics but I also like music in foreign languages, which I don't understand but where the beat and the musical instruments are so beautiful that I'm able to enjoy the music, as much as I would, if I could understand the words !

For me music and dance go hand in hand. I love to dance and completely let myself go when I go dancing and then for a short time I'm transported to an imaginary world where everything is different. Dancing helps me let go of my inhibitions and makes me feel at one with the universe atleast for a short period of time.

I know for sure that without music and dance I would die! To me stopping the flow of music would be like stopping life itself, totally and utterly insane and inconceivable ! For music and rhythm are always able to find the secret path to ones soul !

Some things I will Never Understand

During our childhood we are brought up to believe that we can do anything we want, be anyone we want, go anywhere we want and achieve anything we want. We grow up as strong confident human beings only to find that weak people always get their way. It’s sad that the only way to get your way with other people is to display your weaknesses. It sickens me to think that weak people always get their way by playing the sympathy card and those of us who conduct ourselves with dignity are the losers in the end. We are called heartless, villains and other such choice words only because we intimidate other people, especially men.

Men like weak women; it makes them feel strong maybe even macho. Why can’t they feel the same about strong women? It’s not that we don’t need to be taken care of, it’s just that we don’t feel the need to act like blubbering blithering idiots and sob hysterically at the first sign of a problem. Does that make us too tough for men to handle? Does it scare them?

I once made the mistake of asking a man why he was sympathetic to such a woman and he had the audacity to tell me that she was sensitive??!! Really?! I mean does that imply that the rest of us have no feelings, just because we don’t believe in making fools of ourselves in public. What a huge price to pay for being strong!

What we need is strong men who are proud of the women in their lives, be it their mothers, sisters, girl friends or wives. Not fools who want weak pathetic women in their lives just so that they can feel adequate!

I hope some things will change in future !

I wish all you beautiful, strong women out there a very Happy Women’s Day!

Love

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

-William Shakespeare

Who am I ?

I'm the darkness in the light,
I'm the left ness in the right,
I'm the sadness in the joy,
I'm the will you'll not destroy,
I'm the beauty in the beast,
I'm the sunset in the east,
I'm the world you'll never see,
I'm the slave you'll never free,
I'm the why not in the why,
I'm the spirit in the sky,
I'm the catcher in the rye,
I'm the twinkle in ur eye,
Who am I ???!!!

-Paraphrased from "Gin Soaked Boy"

Inconsistency

Sigh no more,
Ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in the sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.

-William Shakespeare

Revenge

What restrains me from revenge is partly moral scruple, partly the view that no man should be punished when he is willingly torturing himself, and partly what may be described as a sense of humour!

If Everyone Cared

If everyone cared and nobody cried,
If everyone loved and nobody lied,
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day when nobody died.

-"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback

Complacence

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

-Edmund Burke

Winds of Change

The world is closing in,
Did you ever think,
That we could be so close,
The future's in the air,
I can feel it everywhere,
Blowing with the winds of change,
Walking down the street,
Distant memories,
Are buried in the past forever,
I follow my own dreams,
Listening to the winds of change

-Paraphrased from Winds of Change by the Scorpions

Thought for the day !

Friends are God's way of apologising to us for the other morons that we have to meet along the way !

A Man of Substance

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Comfort

I know there is strength in the differences between us, I know there is comfort where we overlap.

-Ani Difranco

Top Ten Favorite Songs for the Month of Feb

• Put your hands up 4 Detroit – Fedde Le Grand
• Sunrise –Norah Jones
• For an Angel –Paul Van Dyk
• More to Life –Stacie Orrico
• Lost for Words –Ronan Keating
• Yellow –Cold Play
• Heaven –DJ Sammy & Yanou
• We are alive –Paul Van Dyk
• Let you go –Atb
• Insatiable –Savage Garden
  

Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever!

Strange isn’t it, that one minute you are closer to someone than anyone else in the whole wide world and the next you don’t want to have anything to do with them again because they’ve hurt you in ways you didn’t even think were possible. And even though the decision was yours to break away, it still feels weird. How odd it feels to suddenly cut off all communication with someone whom you were so connected to that you knew what they were doing every minute of every day. So what does one do with all those memories and all that one knows about the person ? What happens to all that one shared with that person which is just between the two of you ? At one point all those memories were a source of joy and now even thinking about it causes pain. The secret code that existed between the two of you that no one else could decipher is lost forever. One wonders if the person will ever share the same with someone else and what it would mean to them then. Would it be the same? Would it have the same value? One wonders whether the person will ever think about it and wonder how and why things turned out like this. Or is it all conveniently forgotten like some bad dream ?

I’ve always believed in keeping my silence once things are over because whatever transpired is between the two of us and no one else has a right to know it, now or ever. I hope the other person feels the same way as I couldn’t bear to think of any third party being privy to my innermost feelings, thoughts and emotions other than the person whom I chose to share it with. I wonder if I would have shared all that I did, if I knew that someday that person would no longer be a part of my life. I guess some things one will never know and if we keep anticipating and worrying about the future it’s very difficult to enjoy the present. I know the smart thing to do is to look ahead and to move on and I have. There is no point in dwelling on the past, but sometimes when things are quiet and my mind wanders, I think of old times when things were so different and then it hurts to feel….

Fairness & Integrity

Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.

-H.Jackson Brown Jr.

Taste

To possess taste one must have some soul !

-Marquis De Vauvenargues

Let these be your desires

Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping;
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Poem by Khalil Gibran

Facade

Seems like everyone's an actor or an actor's best friend, I wonder what was wrong to begin with that they should all have to pretend.

-Ani DiFranco

True Reflection

Strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends. But, there's nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends.

-Ani DiFranco

Weak

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

-Abraham Lincoln.

Crying

Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones.

-Oscar Wilde

With Power comes Responsibility

When a person takes up a position of responsibilty they must realise that with it comes the onus of acting in a mature and sensible fashion for the great good of the group and admitting your mistakes when you are wrong.Yesterday for the first time in my life I met an individual who was so incapable of taking responsibility for her actions that it was appalling. Inside of admitting that she had made a mistake she played the famous blame game where she pointed fingers at people who were not even present and could not stand up for themselves, then she screamed and accused people who were present for her mistake and finally went on to crying and creating a scene to get sympathy. And the sad part is, men are so weak that when they see a woman crying irrespective of what she has done, all other women present are at fault because we made her cry. I detest people who use tears to get their way, if one is so weak then one should not take up positions of responsibility. It is sad to think that a person can behave so childishly and then expect people to respect them.If one is planning to get into an organisation and behave in such a juvenile fashion then it is very clear that they are not going to get very far in life.

Also what is even more horrifying is that some men are completely spineless, one day they are your friends the next day they change their loyalties because it's convenient.I was so disappointed yesterday to see two of my "so called friends" behaving in a rude, aggressive manner for no reason when all we were trying to do was have a polite civilised conversation with the weak woman. No one was expecting anyone to take sides, but they did and they made it very clear.

These two guys acted like body guards and were refusing to let anyone talk to the weak woman. They just made things worse by constantly answering for her and shielding her from the entire group who wanted some concrete answers from her. Funny how people will jump to help the weak and ridicule the strong, just because we all can't stoop to that level and cry like idiots. They say that some people will get out when they hit rock bottom, others will begin to dig. These guys have started digging.

The Human race has only one real effective weapon and that is laughter

When I was younger I had a strange habit of doing the dumbest things, like trusting people implicitly and assuming that because I trusted them they wouldn't let me down. Then after being badly let down a couple of times I became more worldy wise. But I think old habits die hard, because I made the mistake of trusting someone again without really understanding what kind of a person he was and I paid the price for it. There are some people who lie blatantly to get what they want and some stupid people like me, who believe in the innate goodness of human beings and get fooled. I can't tell you how stupid I feel now for taking everything that was told to me at face value. I really hadn't met someone so diabolical or cunning in the past and never thought anyone could fake so many emotions without meaning a thing.I now realise that people will go to any lengths to get what they want. I thank my stars that I've been lucky to get out of this whole thing before it got any worse.

Initially I was feeling very depressed and upset at being made a fool of and then I spent some time with some of my close friends and had a good laugh. And once your able to see the humour in your stupidity then it's easier to move on and forgive yourself for being so gullible. Afterall everyone is entitled to a few mistakes and having the ability to pick yourself up and move on is what differentiates a mature person from a fool !

Bizarre

Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more entertaining it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show !

-Paraphrased from something I read some place

Belief

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.

-Blaise Pascal

Honesty is the best policy

Everyone always says that one should be honest, at all costs. But where do you draw the line ? How do you know whether you should tell someone honestly about something you know that could save them a lot of heartache or whether you should keep it to yourself ? Strangely enough people don't appreciate honesty because for starters they think that the only reason that you are telling them something is that you have vested interests or are bitter about past experiences. And i've thought about this for a while and debated with my conscience about it and even subtly tried telling them that they might be making a big mistake. But people have a tendency to see only what they want to see. I think sometimes it's better to let people make their own mistakes. Maybe it's a part of their karma, one can't save everyone !

Winning

Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything.

-Vince Lombardi

Violence

The violence done us by others is often less painful than that which we do to ourselves.

-Fracois de la Rochefoucauld

Poetic Justice

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you !!!

-Lyrics of Someday You'll know

Despair

I've got it all,
But I feel so deprived,
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside,
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like i'm missing,
And why can't I let it go,
There's gotta be more to life,
Than chasing down every temporary high,
Cause I'm more than that,
There's gotta be more to life....

-Paraphrased from lyrics of "More to life"

Lost

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep,
Standing on the edge of something much too deep,
It's strange how I can feel so much, but can't say a word,
I'm screaming inside, but I can't be heard !

-Paraphrased from lyrics I heard some place

Top Ten Favorite Songs for the Month of Jan

• Ecstasy –Atb
• Collide –Howie Day
• Look After You – The Fray
• Flame it –Mekkanika
• Let Go –Frou Frou
• Into the dark –Ben Lee
• Feel Alive –Atb
• Friends –DJ Sakins
• Someday you'll know - New Radicals
• New York City – Paul Van Dyk
  

To Those I Love

If there ever is a tomorrow when i'm not around...there is something you must always remember... you are braver than you believe....stronger than you think...and smarter than you know...but the most important thing is... i'll always be with you....

Realisation

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

-Frederick Keonig

Life is about Timing

By the end of last year I had lost my peace of mind, my ability to laugh when things got me down, my ability to roll with the punches. I was hurt, upset, sad, jaded and worried about the future.

On New Years Eve, as I hurriedly got ready, I suddenly noticed that I was wearing only one earring and had misplaced one of my favourite earrings. I searched high and low for it but couldn’t find it. Just then my friends arrived to pick me up and so I stopped looking for it, found another pair of earrings and left as I didn’t want to keep them waiting. As I sat in the car and looked out, I felt sad at having lost my earring, it seemed like the icing on the cake. Each time I believed that things could not get worse, they would. Everything that could have gone wrong had in the past week, and I was really sick and tired of things. But then I figured that I should not dampen everyone else’s mood by whining. So I made a conscious effort to forget about everything and enjoy myself.

I had a lovely New Years Eve celebration and fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning at a friends place.

When I woke up on 1st Jan 2008, as I sat up in bed and looked at the pillow I found my lost earring lying there. I have absolutely no idea how it got there. It’s completely bizarre since I lost it at my place and I found it at a friends place. But I think its sign, maybe this year I’m going to find those things I lost last year….I think there's hope still…

Friends

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." -Gloria Naylor

I know i've behaved like a fool on many occasions and gotten myself into all kinds of stupid situations. The only way I've been able to get through it all has been because of my friends. I'm really lucky to have quite a few close friends who've stood by me through everything. Sorry for boring you all with my whining ! This one goes out to all of you....

Pearl, Sushma, Anusha, Sapna, Salil, Apprameya, Vijay Shankar,Cecilia, Sneha & Surbhi

Thank You !

Love ya always!

Spontaneity

The essence of pleasure is spontaneity.

-Germaine Greer

Work

Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.

-James Allen

He

He glances at me,
Then he looks away,
So many things I want to say,
But I take his cue and look away,
And think of things so far away,

The moonlight glints on the sea,
And I think of how we used to be,
Slow dancing in the rain,
His hands wrapped tightly around me,
I know that he can ease the pain,
And this is where I want to be,

I feel the blood course through my veins,
I feel his arms surround me,
I feel at home in his embrace,
I’m in a secure place,

Candlelit dinners on the roof,
Long walks by the bay,
My fingers entwined in his,
As we gaze lovingly at each other in bliss,

We watch the flames dance on the sheets,
He holds me close and won’t let me sleep,
We listen to music by the beat,
He writes song lyrics that are oh so deep,

How things change as time goes by,
I wish I could understand why,
But for now, I think of old times when we watched the sea,
And planned things for both him and me….

-Poppy

Sense of Humour

A sense of humour is needed armour, it helps one deal with life and shows that the person has a pretty good grasp of life.

Music

Music is an outburst of the soul.

-Frederick Delius

Complicated

I like you just the way you are,
But sometimes u seem strange by far,
It's like you're someone else,
Why do u have to be so complicated ??
You're getting me totally frustrated !!

You turn me on,
Then you turn me off like a flashlight,
I stay up all night,
But i still don't know who you are,
Why do you have to be so complicated??
When am I going to be satiated ??

How can you be so intense,
And then have no substance,
Why do you have to be so complicated??
When am i going to be appreciated ??

You promise to be good,
Love me like you should,
If its straight from the heart,
Then why do you tear me apart,
Why do you have to be so complicated??
Are you ever going to be domesticated ??

Maybe your just misunderstood,
Are your intentions good ??
Why does life have to be so complicated ??
Why can't life be like u want to make it ??

-Poppy (16th Nov, 2004)

Peace

If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.

-Tenzin Gyatso

Love and Pain

The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel pain.

-Jennifer Aniston

Good Friends

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

-Jim Morrison

Trust

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you"

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Everything Changes

"One minute, you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world,
next minute, you're never going to see them again..."

-Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason

Heartache

All of my regret will wash away some how,
But I will never forget the way I feel right now !

-Paraphrased from song lyrics I read some place.

Lessons I've learned over the past year

• I've learned that people who have huge egos lose great friends
• I've learned that having expectations just leads to disapppointments
• I've learned that dancing with the devil to make him a saint is a stupid idea
• I've learned that some people are selfish and accepting it is better than trying to change it
• I've learned that help and solace in time of difficulties comes from unexpected sources
• I've learned that crying makes one feel better
• I've learned that good friends know exactly how to cheer you up
• I've learned that getting your heart broken hurts physically as much as it does emotionally
• I've learned that some people are just too stubborn and stupid to change
• I've learnt that class doesn't come from money but from good upbringing and values
• I've learned that no matter how much you do for some people they still treat you like dirt
• I've learned that being a nice person does not ensure that others will be nice to you
• I've learned that a kind word or deed can go a long way in making someone feel good
• I've learned that people who genuinely care are not ashamed to show it
• I've learned not to take what people say at face value
• I've learned that the harder you try to make something work, the greater are the chances of it not working out
• I've learned that people who keep changing their minds are not genuine
• I've learned that you learn something new everyday if you pay enough attention
• I've learned that it is important to learn to let go and move on
• I've learned that some people have no conscience
• I've learned that a hug can make me feel better when nothing else does
• I've learned that people who make you cry and don't feel remorse are not worth bothering about
• I've learned that talking about things always makes me feel better
• I've learned that always apologising for others mistakes and making up is not worth it after a point
• I've learned that some people just cannot admit that they are wrong
• I've learned that consistency in relationships is important to me
• I've learned that I have very strong intuition about people close to me
• I've learned that you never find yourself until you learn to face the truth
• I've learned that if you are unable to find tranquility within yourself it is useless to seek it elsewhere
• I've learned not to trust implicitly
• I've learned that you can sit in a room full of people and still feel lonely
• I've learned that the people that hurt you the most are usually the ones you least expect
• I've learned that some people are insensitive
• I've learned that some people can empathise way better than others
• I've learned that some times comfort can be given without speaking a word
• I've learned that going for a long drive with nice music helps me think and unwind
• I've learned that I cannot live without music
• I've learned that, one should never impose on others what one would not choose for ones self
• I've learned that everything has a moral, the problem is finding it
• I've learned that there are no failures, just experiences and your reactions to them
• I've learned that we are not limited by our abilities, but by our vision
• I've learned that words and ideas can change the world
• I've learned that some times I just need to be on my own
• I've learned that some people can lie without batting an eyelid
• I've learned that I am responsible for my own happiness
• I've learned that if you let people they will take you for granted
• I've learned that people who can't laugh at themselves are hard to live with
• I've learned that learning when to speak and when to keep quiet is extremely important
• I've learned that people who don't communicate are difficult to deal with
• I've learned that words have the power to hurt more than deeds
• I've learned that it hurts to feel

Top Ten Favorite Songs for December

My favorite songs of the month are :-

• Renegade - ATB
• Let Go -Paul Van Dyke
• Fields of Love -ATB
• It's not over -Chris Daughtry
• Beautiful Liar - Beyonce Knowles
• Breathe Me -Sia
• Umbrella - Rihanna
• I wanna Love you -Akon
• Don't think of me -Dido
• Something Just are the way they are - ATB

There is nothing half so pleasant as coming home again....

Finally back home after five months ! Such a relief to be back to the old and the familiar, it's strange how some things give comfort just by being the same. Come to think of it , I think that's what most of us look for in life, stability or consistency in relationships or in anything for the matter. That's what keeps one sane when other things go crazily out of orbit !

I've spent the past five months in Singapore and it's been an enlightening and enjoyable experience. During the time away from home, I've grown a lot and learnt a hellavu lot about myself and about people in general. Strange how staying with people makes you bond so much faster with them. I never thought i'd miss my friends in my holiday break, I guess it's weird when I think about how I didn't even know these people five months back and now I miss them when I don't see them everyday ! I guess home is not a place where you live, but a place where they understand you...

Letting Go n Moving On

"Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are just too bright... and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice... but still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. "

-Excerpt from Shawshank Redemption

Resilience

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed.
-Viktor E. Frankl

Growing up

Learning to own your burdens is half the battle in life , and once you do that, you learn to take responsibility for your actions.

Loss of a loved one

The moment you lose someone you love, is the moment you lose a part of yourself...

Compassion

You cannot care about everything and stay sane. You cannot care about nothing and stay human.
- Katherine Whitehorn

Right n Wrong

No one is always completely right, there is something wrong with all of us...

Challenge

The greatest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone wants you to be somebody else.
-E.E Cummings

Distance

Even though we drifted apart in distance, I still think of you as a part of my life. And although we both have many new friends I still cherish our friendship and always will.

And then , it rained !!!

Beautiful isn't it ? I love the rain ! :-D

Home

Home is where the heart is...

Bitterness

Only someone who has been really close to you, can hurt you with a precision that few others can achieve...and in the end all that's left is bitterness...

Passion

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for , he isn't fit to live.

-Martin Luther King

The Future

I guess you never know where a road will end... Sometimes you just know that it will...

Top Ten Favorite Songs for the Month of May

I have this strange habit of finding songs that I like, old or new and then listening to them again and again, till I get sick of em. So I’ve decided to regularly post a list of my favorite songs. You may wonder why I feel the need to subject you to my music preferences, and well I have only one answer for you my friend, It’s my blog ! If you have any objections you are free to leave a comment or better still get your own blog! :-)

So here goes this months list :-

1. Begin –Ben Lee
2. Chasing Cars –Snow Patrol
3. Here without you –Three Doors Down
4. Beautiful Wreck –Shawn Mullins
5. Some Hearts –Carrie Underwood
6. Everything Changes –Staind
7. The Real Thing –Bo Bice
8. I’ll Stand by you –The Pretenders
9. Faraway – Nickelback
10. The Fear you won’t fall – Joshua Radin

The Old n the Familiar

In this place I hear the quiet rasp of things as they used to be. I come at dawn, I come at nightfall, and all the hours in between. I come to hear the twilight robes and songs from yesterday. I come because old things live here, things I understand without knowing why...

-Paraphrased from "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend" - By Robert James Waller

Daddy’s Girl -Always!

Three years have passed since I lost my father but for me time seems to stand still. My father still forms an important part of my life. There isn’t a day which goes by where I don’t think about him, miss him or talk about him. I often wonder what his views on certain current events would be, whether he would enjoy food at the new restaurant that opened down the road, or whether he would like the latest acquisition to my wardrobe.
I guess that’s what happens when someone has a larger than life presence. In a strange way it permeates even when the person no longer exists. I still hear his voice telling me not to do silly things, to have patience when I’m sick of waiting for things to happen, and telling me to be strong when I feel like I can’t deal with things. Is it really possible for someone to talk to you from beyond the grave or is it a game your mind plays with you to help you deal with the sudden shock of losing someone so near and dear to you?

I don’t know the answer to that question, but I’m glad that I can still hear his voice in my head. It makes me feel safe, happy and content knowing that, it’s a part of him I’ll always have.

Looking back, I know that in the past three years I’ve grown up more than I did in the 22 years before that. I guess losing someone close to you makes you grow up faster than you ever intended. And all the values that they tried to instill in you seem to suddenly become the values that you strive for even when their physical presence is not around to guide you. As a person, I’ve learnt to be more responsible, goal oriented and focused. I've learnt to prioritise and make time for work and fun. I’ve learnt to face my fears and deal with it head on. I’ve become stronger emotionally than I ever thought possible. Suddenly life seems too short to hold grudges or to fight over trifles. Family has gained more importance than it ever had before. Making time for hobbies and learning new skills has become a part of my routine. In short, living life to the fullest. But the greatest lesson that I have learnt from my dad is, that forging relationships with people is more important than just getting the job done.
And though there are lot of things in life I’m not sure of, one thing I know for sure is , I’ll always be daddy’s girl !

Loss

Loss? What does it mean? Loss of property or life?

Loss of property can be replaced given time, but loss of life – never. When someone loses someone near and dear, people often say, give it time… things will get better. I always wonder what their talking about?!! Better with time? For whom ? Maybe for the person saying it because, with time he/she will forget about it and move on with his/her life. What a foolish thing to say and how very naïve of them to assume that everything gets better with time, like time is a panacea for all ills.

I know that with time the pain intensifies, as time flies one realizes the gravity of death. A person who is dead will never ever return. You can never expect them to walk into a room while you’re sitting there, never have a conversation with them, never touch them and never hold them close. And the pain you feel at the unfairness of it all, doesn’t get better with time, it gets worse, like a festering wound, becoming larger and more painful. Losing someone close to you can change your life in ways you never even imagined. It can make you stronger or weaker, the choice is yours. Strong individuals find ways to circumvent the pain and look for ways to channelise it; the weak succumb to the pain and undergo depression, sometimes even trying to commit suicide.

What irritates me is individuals who feel the need to give advice on the loss of a loved one when they have absolutely no idea what their talking about. Sometimes it’s a good idea to shut-up if one doesn’t have anything intelligent to say, might save the rest of us the torture of listening to crap.

Change

Sometimes we foolishly believe that if we take the easier path we'd still be in safe waters.. like a ship in the harbour...but then ships were not made to stay in the harbour...and hanging around in the harbour would just make us into bored, unhappy and dis-satisfied individuals... sometimes it's important to take risks...otherwise life loses its meaning...

The Quarter Life Crisis

This is the time in your life when you realize that however much you hate it, change is the only constant in life and that things rarely go according to plan. You start realizing that there are many things you thought you would have achieved by this time, but now they seem a distant dream or not even a possibility.

You start feeling insecure and confused about your goals and wonder what you will have achieved in a year or five years time, since you haven’t managed to achieve what you had set out for yourself, and now you’re frightened to set more goals and not achieve them once again.

You start realizing that life is short and that people are important, and somehow you always treated the ones who were difficult better than the ones who always stood by you. You realize that people can be selfish and that the only person who really cares about you and looks out for your interests is yourself and expecting anyone else to do it is just setting yourself up for more disappointment.

You’ve reached a phase in your life where you’ve been through a number of relationships and you now know what you want and don’t want in a relationship, where you are willing to compromise and what you are not willing to budge on.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved with every ounce of your being could hurt you so much. You wonder why you go from one destructive relationship to another, constantly searching for that elusive something. Or you lie in bed at night and wonder where all the decent people are hiding because you can’t seem to find anyone that you want to get to know better. Or on the off chance that you do meet someone interesting, they are already taken.

You are now much more confident as a person. You have learnt to take things with a pinch of salt. You laugh and cry with more feeling than you ever did before. Each experience in your life is etched deeply in your mind and impacts the way you think and how you interact with people. You are more careful and less trusting of others. You try hard not to become cold, jaded and cynical.

You begin to judge people more than you did earlier in your life. You are constantly observing other people and renewing the boundaries in your life, adding things to the list of what is acceptable and what is definitely not.

You have a smaller close knit group of friends who form your support system. You talk to your friends about the same things again and again- work, family, higher education, men/women in your life and analyse the same problems again and again searching for solutions, hoping that you will have the courage to make tough decisions and follow through with them.

You stop going along with the crowd and realize that you don’t need to try so hard to fit in. Getting completely wasted and acting like an immature idiot loses its charm. You undergo some self realization and some of the things you’ve discovered about yourself are not entirely pleasant.

You worry more about your family and the health of your loved ones. You take on more responsibility and try to help out with daily chores and financial obligations.

You worry about loans, money, marriage and making a life for yourself. And while achieving all your goals would be nice, you would settle for at least a definite path to your goals with a blue print of all the potholes or at least a way to get around them.

You feel alone, scared, anxious, excited, worried, and happy all at the same time. One minute you wouldn’t want to change anything for the world and the next minute you wonder how you got stuck in this rut.

You know you’ve never felt so alive or so frightened in your entire life. You feel like you are standing at the edge of a cliff and the only way to move forward is to jump and pray the parachute holds.

What you don’t realize is that everyone in this age group is going through something similar and would be able to relate to the gamut of emotions that you are facing. So relax and try to enjoy yourself. Think of it like a roller coaster ride, where you’re poised on top, waiting for it to begin, you know its going to be fun , though scary in some parts and exhilarating in others. So what you need to do is embrace it instead of trying to fight it!

And when you feel lost and lonely next time, remember we are all searching for our place in the world and as we stumble along in search of happiness, there is always company and it’s not going to be a long lonely ride.

I wish you all the very Best of luck ! :-)

Different People, Different Views

Strange isn't it how you think you know someone and then something happens, either an event, a disagreement or even a serious conversation about important issues and you suddenly wonder who the other person is... what their real beliefs and values are... what their guiding principles are and how different or similar to yours they are...

The way a person thinks, deals with problems or treats other people depends on how they have been brought up. Family and friends play an important role in nurturing an individual. Many a time our views about certain topics are solely based upon the experiences of our family and friends. And while many of us have similar thoughts about certain issues our views might greatly diverge on other topics...so to assume that just because a person agrees or thinks in a similar fashion about some things that they would agree with you on all other things would be a gross injustice to them and to you...

So when it comes to settling down with someone it's important to figure out those issues which are important to both of you and ensure that your value system is the same atleast on those... otherwise it just leads to un-necessary complications and marriage is tough without having that to deal with too..

Truth

The truth is almost always more complicated than it seems... Everything is not black n white.. Some things have shades of grey...But the truth always surfaces sooner or later...

Love's Philosophy

The Fountains mingle with the River and the Rivers with the Ocean,
the winds of Heaven mix for ever with a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine in one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
see the mountains kiss high Heaven and the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven if it disdained its brother,
and the sunlight clasps the earth and the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth if thou kiss not me?

-Percy B Shelley

Dancing

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
-Angela Monet

The Purpose of Life

We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

True Love

For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love grows stronger with time... and for still others love is simply lost... But then of course love can also be found...

I believe True Love doesn't stop when time passes, or you live in different places, or sombody's gone....true love transcends space and time...

Pain

No one can hurt you, unless you let them.

Death

As flies to wanton boys are, we to the Gods. They kill us for their sport.
-William Shakespeare

Motto in Life

You must live for another if you to wish to live for yourself.
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Pure Love

Have you ever thought of a love so pure that you want to do what's best for the one you love ? How many of us ever achieve that heightened level of awareness ? Most parents feel strongly about their children... strongly enough to give up their lives without a second thought if it came to a choice...and most children would do the same for their parents.. but how many couples would do it ? Seriously, how many couples even understand each other enough, to know that sometimes it's better to go different ways than to hang on to each other and make each other miserable in the long run.. by standing in the way of each others dreams and aspirations...sometimes the simplest actions such as walking away are hardest to follow through with.....

In the Pursuit of Happiness

We spend our entire lives in the pursuit of the happiness... and what is happiness really.. it's a fleeting moment in life when everything is right...when the world seems a beautiful place and we feel at one with everything and everyone...as if we couldn't wish or hope for anything more... but I say it's a fleeting moment, because given time we want more...it's just human nature...

I think happiness is almost like an illusion or maybe even a state in which we are delusional and believe that life is perfect...and in time...reality bites.. nice and hard... and it's back to the search for the unattainable...

Everyone has hopes, everyone has dreams, everyone has pain, everyone has ambitions, everyone wants something, needs something , desires something, cherishes something, loves someone, dislikes someone, hurts someone, wants to protect someone and while all our lives are so different in the end it's all the same...

Would you lie with me and just forget the world ???!

We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind meTo find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world ??!!

-Snow Patrol ( Chasing Cars)

Hope

Sometimes hope is all we've got.. and waiting is the hardest part.. not knowing.. just hoping that things will go as we want them to...bcoz we can't even imagine the alternative at the moment...it's just too upsetting and scary...

For a change I hope things will go in my favour...

Reflections

This is a pic I took on a nice deserted beach in kerala while watching the sunset...

I really like this pic... something so powerful and peaceful at the same time...

Should be able to take lots more pics as soon as our beach house is ready and I get the chance to go n stay there...

Hopefully by then I'll know more about photography than I know now... :-)

Food Orgy in Kerala

George Bernard Shaw once said ,"There is no sincerer love, than the love of food"...n how true that is...

I spent the last week in Kerala..n had the most amazing time.. my entire family believes in eating constantly, and most of my family can put a good chef to shame... so as expected i've gained quite a bit of weight.. so now the weight loss plan begins.. but here are a few pics of my grandmothers delicasies.. maybe that will explain why i couldn't resist.. :-)))

Letting Go

Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong -Sometimes it's letting go...

Memories

Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that can last a lifetime...

I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words will never replace feelings.....